hues of blue

A recent trip to Manly - the still blue sea and smell of spring in the air made me feel humbled and grateful.

I have felt overstretched as of late. Attempting to renovate our first home (doing all those tedious tasks that no one notices), navigating through the school term with birthday parties, excursions and homework in conjunction with working shift work in a demanding career. In our home, bedrooms are laden with clean clothes that haven't found their way to the drawers, there is an opshop pile that has been sitting at the front door for months.  My car is filled with crumbs, toys, goosebump books and other tiny people paraphernalia.  Food is in the fridge that should have been thrown out last week. Last week, the toilet started to constantly run. An accumulation of everyday life that has left me looking in the mirror thinking "you can do it Ali! Or can you?". 

I find it very easy to feel overwhelmed. Living 35 minutes out of town has proved to have it's benefits - my thinking, organising and planning time happens in my little fiesta. Driving home at 11.30pm last night, I thought about my home. Then I thought again. Differently. I am lucky that I have a home to go to, with children fast asleep, dreaming about those excursions. I am grateful that I have clean clothes to be able to wear. I am incredibly proud of myself for slogging my guts out as a single mum to graduation with a distinction and have the career that pays for my little home that I am renovating with my best friend.

It is easy to slip into the hues of blue. I have been there before. But changing the way I think, changing my prospective, has opened my life up to a happiness and fulfilment that only happens when you slow down, stop and re-calibrate.